Beans, beans, the magical fruit?

Ok, so I really want to try and cut down on the burgeoning belly fat. Last night I went out, and my poor fancy shirt's buttons were shuddering under the strain of it al. This new gain is bumming me out. Gonna go whole hog on the Slow Carb, from Tim Ferriss' "4 Hour Body", instead of half-assing it. No more fruit/nuts/cheese except Saturday Cheat Day, as is prescribed. And now, checking to see if, as Ferriss claims, beans is the magic key to unlocking success with this new diet.

Added beans into my daily dietary mix this morning. A and I shared a can of black beans from Trader Joe's along with our sausage.

Considering how much gastrointestinal distress they have caused me in the past, I realized I had forgotten to procure any bean digestive aids along the way. Ferriss recommends rinsing the canned beans to get rid of the oligosaccharides that are soaked out in the liquid, but I like the liquid from black beans. I remembered reading somewhere that there were some food ingredients you could add to beans to help digest the oligosaccharides. A quick google search lead me to Wikipedia, of all places:

"Many edible beans, including broad beans and soybeans, contain oligosaccharides (particularly raffinose and stachyose), a type of sugar molecule also found in cabbage. An anti-oligosaccharide enzyme is necessary to properly digest these sugar molecules. As a normal human digestive tract does not contain any anti-oligosaccharide enzymes, consumed oligosaccharides are typically digested by bacteria in the large intestine. This digestion process produces flatulence-causing gases as a byproduct.^[12][13] This aspect of bean digestion is the basis for the children's rhyme "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit".

So THAT would explain my extreme stomach discomfort and gas with both beans and anything cruciferous. I had to stop eating broccoli for many years. Also, I always remembered that rhyme as "Beans, beans the MAGICAL fruit." Am I mistaken? Skipping down:

"In many cuisines beans are cooked along with natural carminatives such as anise seeds, coriander seeds and cumin. Other strategies include soaking beans in water for several hours before mixing them with other ingredients to remove the offending sugars. Sometimes vinegar is added, but only after the beans are cooked as vinegar interferes with the beans' softening."

Score! I rifled through the spice cabinet (yes, a whole cabinet devoted to spices, haha!) and found the cumin, tossing in generous amounts. Threw in a few capfuls of apple cider vinegar. Stirred and tested...Tasty! It's been about 3 1/2 hours, now...so far, so good! Stomach not rumbling, no gas pain. Knock on wood! And they taste really good. Like, too good to be good for me good. Let's hope not.

Beans are, by nature, starchy. Up til now, I've avoided them for many years, on that basis. I didn't eat them on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet that I followed to fix my gut, successfully, a decade ago. I mostly avoided them on "The Zone," and I lost 80 pounds at that time (before eventually regaining, and then some.) I was told not to eat them on many phases of the HCG diet that most recently dropped me out of obesity. But Ferriss recommends eating them on his Slow Carb Diet, with the theory that they are digested slowly because of all the fiber, thus avoiding spiking the insulin while adding valuable protein. I need protein from less caloric sources than the enormous piles of fatty meat I've been chowing down to meet the Occam's Protocol protein requirements. He also claims they stop hunger, which I think I agree with, so far. Was craving food a LOT before on my half-assed version of Slow Carb, especially fruit. Today, not at all.

I need to add more veggies to the mix, though. I should steam broccoli and cauliflower and things of that sort more often. It's hard for me to picture my salads without the cheese, fruit, nuts, minimal dressing (though I already use dressing with NO sweeteners and fairly low calorie counts, such as Trader Joe's Tuscany Italian). I want like crazy for goat cheese to be okay, buuuuut it's probably not. He says no dairy at all.

I've already cut out the milk I was using for my protein shakes, substituting Trader Joe's unsweetened almond milk instead. Amazingly, it tastes so much less sweet! Apparently I could TASTE the sweetness of the lactose in the whole milk. 13 carbs per cup! The almond milk has 2 grams of carbs, less than 1 of sugar. The downside of this switch, almond milk has 1 gram of protein, vs. 8 grams in whole milk. But 40 calories rather than a whopping 150 per cup in the milk. Sooooo...to comply with Slow Carb and give my waistline a chance, no milk, no cheese (sob!), no yogurt, no fun.

But I should give this a decent shot to see if my waistline comes back under control while I continue trying to gain muscle. Thanks for bearing with my current floundering. So hard to leave a method that worked and find a new way towards my goals. We'll see how this goes!

Zombie Blog Comes Alive

So, I didn't mean to abandon my blog. Looking back at the posts, I can see why I did.

Overly verbose.

Obsessive.

I actually had to stop reading the blogs for a while, also, for a number of reasons. I have problems with internet addiction, to be sure. Addictive personality that latches on to anything to avoid pain and problems.

But I am losing weight again. I am learning to be more honest and succinct. I appreciate the other bloggers who are out there, laying it on the line day after day. I wanted to tell any of you that care that I haven't given up, and neither should you.

I feel I've come a long way in the last year and a half. The weight loss has been a slow process. I did have to take some time off, because I needed some time to just live and breathe and not worry about it. I regained some, but not a lot, in the grand scheme of things. Recently re-tackled it all, and now I'm down to a lifetime low, and am according to the silly BMI numbers, no longer in the "Overweight" category. This isn't the truth, however, I still have some excess body fat that clearly needs to go. Which is fine, I'm currently working on it.

I'm about to ditch my current method of weight loss for good. The rounds of HCG did get me from morbidly obese to "normal." I'm looking at a number of other models. 4 Hour Body, Lean Gains, or just plain Paleo eating, plus increased activity. I feel I need to take the activity and exercise to the next level, or it will be forever backsliding and trying to regain lost ground.

I'm dreaming of hiking to Camp Muir, the climbing camp on Mount Rainier at over 10,000 feet. We were going to take the Alpine Scrambling course offered by the Mountaineers to prepare for that, but could not afford it this year. Instead, we're planning on snowshoeing classes and training hikes starting mid-late February, as soon as I get off this round. This will not get us ready for Camp Muir, as I believe we need the navigation and safety training to safely cross the Muir Snowfield, but I do believe we will take some epic hikes this summer.

Lastly, it would seem that my paternal Grandma has probably not got long to live. Due to a complicated abusive family situation, we have been kept apart mostly for 20 years or more. I miss her and feel terrible about it. I am thinking about throwing caution to the wind, going out to see her despite the issues involved. I talked to her yesterday and cried for quite a while afterwards. I may have to abandon my current protocol to do so, as just for this particular protocol it's honestly too difficult to follow while traveling. Which is really tough, because my doctor will not allow me to go back on it for a year, and I don't plan to, ever. I am scared I won't be able to shed the 13 pounds or so I want to without it. But I am more scared that I will never get to see her again. Weight loss is not worth a lifetime of regret.

This has been a deeply emotionally trying time. The last few years I have worked really hard to learn to face my fears and stop avoiding painful things, and now I really must face up to this, too.

To HCG or to Not HCG, That is the Question

As you can probably tell by the beer in my hand in my latest progress picture (and now my profile pic), I've been having a pretty good time this summer.  Though seriously, I haven't been drinking all that much, avoiding my previous bar-dwelling existence like the plague, but still.  Relaxing with friends and family, taking time to enjoy things.  I quit my job, spend my time exploring my city all over again, hiking, swimming, going on Maui vacations and day trips to the mountains.  I've tried to sell stuff on e-bay to no avail, and failed so far at securing any freelance editing attempts, but overall, I'm enjoying myself.  I let my 6 week waiting period between HCG rounds lapse and then some.  The weather finally got nice here!  I want to enjoy it.

I've been really proud of my ability to maintain this time.  I mean, I've never managed to stay within the magical two pound range from my last dose weight as recommended by the protocol, but after popping up a bit on aforementioned Maui vacation (you can't eat things like banana bread and chocolate covered macadamia nuts every day and expect miraculous maintenance results), I brought it back down to 6 pounds over my last dose weight and have stayed within two pounds of that for the last month.

So I think I've figured out maintenance at this weight, and that's cool.  I've never weighed less than 200 pounds in my entire adult life! Hell, I was above that by the time I got into high school.  Maintenance is great right now, because I know that even if I didn't continue losing, I'm no longer automatically just climbing up the scale as I had for years and years.  I NEVER want to see a "2" in front of my weight ever again! 

What I'm not doing is losing weight.  Not a bit of it.  This is par for the course for me.  I used to lose weight on low carb, but not anymore.  Now I merely maintain.  It takes an unrealistic amount of calorie restriction and a level of exercise beyond what my achy joints and fibromyalgic muscles can currently support for me to get anywhere without HCG.  There are going to be a lot of people out there who don't believe this, but I know the truth.  I once lost 80 pounds on low carb alone, now it no longer works for me.  Trudi from My Non-Mainstream Weight Loss and Fitness Journey linked to this article on weight loss, metabolic rates and hormone levels that was extremely revealing, and now I understand more about why this may be so for me as detailed in that article.  My metabolism, always slow, had slowed to a crawl for lots of reasons.  I may go into detail about this at some point, but you'd probably be snoring by the end of the already wordy-ass post, so not for now...

This endocrine and metabolic specialist mentioned that many people with the problems he details have been having great success with HCG.  And so I have.  I do think my metabolic rate is higher than it used to have been or I would be gaining great gobs every time I have a cracker or a beer, and I'm not.  But it's still not all the way there yet, and may never be, given my built in endocrine imbalance (CAH which produces my now documented sky-high DHEA levels, among other things.)  So it's HCG for me when I'm ready to go again.

But am I ready?  On the one hand, I have no job, and therefore time to enjoy the occasional glass of wine or meal out with friends and family, especially sitting in sunny patios.  I can't do that on the HCG protocol.  I can go hiking and swimming whenever the weather allows.  On the protocol, I am often too weak or dizzy for most exercise, and there's not enough protein in my diet to rebuild strained muscles.

On the other hand...I am impatient to get where I am going.  I look at myself now, and for being 100+ pounds down, I'm so freaking far from an ideal weight.  It's funny, too...I know there's a huge difference in the Befores and Afters, but since all the full body shots are from the front you can hardly see that I am developing a waistline because I'm still almost straight up and down from that angle!  If I'm turned at all to the side, you can see a giant difference, that I come way in under my chest, and I'm so much THINNER.  I can't wait for the front view to match the side, LOL.  I want the jawline to be there ALL the time, not just from certain angles or if I hold my chin up.  I want to lose the thunder thighs.  Thank god for my Torrid sugar skull swim trunks!  Nobody wants to see what lies beneath!

So...a dilemma.  Do I enjoy the rest of my summer as a moderately fat person, or do I wearily start what I oughtta do next weekend and get done right at the end of August as a progressively more normal-sized me?  I still probably won't hit my ideal weight, but I'll be so much closer!  I have to decide by Tuesday next week.  It's a toughie.  More hair-pulling to follow...

The Journey So Far

Hello blogosphere.  I've blogged a little on this subject so far, but decided that a reboot was in order, keeping my weight loss and other aspects of my life in separate places.  So here I am, and I'd like to talk about the journey so far.

My highest recorded weight was 295, over 2 years ago now, though I may have been near that or even exceeded it several times during the last few decades as I've yo-yo'd up and down the scale.  I have been overweight or obese since I was a toddler.  In my case, I believe it has been a combination of lots of things.  I have a genetic condition called Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia causing endocrine system imbalances leading to auto-immune problems, digestive problems, muscle and joint problems, and more, and I think that's the biggest issue.  I also grew up on southern cooking/heavily processed low nutrition foods and was punished for not cleaning my plate.  Additionally, I suffered severe childhood abuse of several varieties which lead to emotional eating and other bad food consumption practices, which was definitely a big factor.  Don't get me wrong, I take full responsibility for where I'm at now and know that it's up to me to make the necessary changes to lose weight.  It has taken decades of being on my own as an adult to puzzle all this out and find my way back to the highest levels of health that I can achieve, but the cool thing is, I'm doing it.

I've lost over 100 pounds so far!  It's been an amazing transformation of mind, body and spirit.  My whole life is changing for the better, and I couldn't be happier.  Like most change, this one started with crisis.  I think I've learned that crisis is the thing that spurs most of us into action.  Consequently, I have been learning to view problems in an entirely different light.  It may sound cliche, but over and over again, coping with crisis has forced me onto higher ground.

Over the years I've strived to find answers to my health problems and emotional issues.  Addiction of loved ones, my own addictions, relationship problems, severe depression, and health issues including severe pharmaceutical poisoning and early symptoms of MS all converged for me two years ago, and I hit bottom.  Just to survive I began getting counseling for my depression, social anxiety, self-esteem issues and free myself from codependancy.  Though not an alcoholic by any means, I still cut my drinking down significantly, began eating less and getting more exercise, started  a more intensive qigong practice and found a naturopath who really knew how to help me.  She put me on rounds of the HCG diet, and in combination supplements and my other healthy practices, the MS symptoms went away and have not returned for over a year now.  And I've lost enough weight to officially move out of being classified as "obese."

In fact, I went from "morbidly obese" to "obese" to "overweight" in less than a year.  According to the BMI chart, at 5'8", I should be 164 pounds or under to qualify as "normal".  I am currently 27 pounds above that weight, but I'm betting, based on how my body looks and feels, that I could really stand to lose at least another 40 pounds to feel and look right.  At the moment I'm maintaining my current weight and focusing on getting exercise and sunshine to boost my health and prevent any further development of the MS.  I've quit my job to get away from pollution and emotional toxicity, and am going to spend the summer hiking, open water swimming and weight lifting.

I will start a new round of the HCG diet, possibly late July but I may wait until fall, depending on how I feel in the next few weeks.  If you're familiar with the HCG diet, you know that it is restrictive and challenging, and after four rounds with the required maintenance periods in between, I'm finding that I kind of want a little more time off to enjoy going out with friends and family.  Since I'm maintaining my weight well, I'm not too worried about when I get back on the train again, so to speak, but on the other hand, I'm eager for normality too.

Why the HCG diet?  I know many in the weight loss blogosphere are against the concept of diet, and for lifestyle change instead, and I respect that.  It works for them.  Our bodies are all different.  Calorie counting and exercise alone does not seem to work very well for me.  I can restrict my daily calories to 1500 and lose no weight, even if I work out.  My current health issues seem to make it extremely difficult to up my metabolism and lose weight.  Low carb IS helpful for me, and I tend to lose and/or maintain if I keep the amount of carbs that I consume to a very small proportion of my daily intake.  The HCG protocol certainly adheres to low carb principles, but it's the mechanism of the hormone that actually causes me to be able to let go of excess fat and have it stay off.  It's been extremely successful for me so far, but I realize that time will tell.  And the HCG seems to be what finally stopped the tremors, twitches and restored my coordination (I had fallen 4 times in a month!).  (Mind you, I had only the beginning symptoms, not an official diagnosis with spinal tap and all, and it was caught EARLY.  I do not think that it will help people with advanced MS cases or people with lots of damage already done to their nervous systems.  Your mileage may vary!)  So I know that this protocol helps me with all of my health conditions and to lose weight, without causing me any other health issues.

My partner in crime for 19+, "A", has accompanied me on this journey.  He's also lost over 100 pounds using the HCG protocol, stuck with me through thick and thin, and I'm extremely proud of him.  Together we continue down this road towards health and freedom and a better life.