View from the Ledge

I've always been drawn to the mountains. My early years were spent in northern Indiana, a fairly flat place, but with its own cool stuff like the Lake Michigan sand dunes rolling along the inland sea. But my family criss-crossed the country on vacations as I grew up, visiting relatives, exploring far-off places. The oceans, deserts and plains all have their unique appeal, but it's been the mountains that have always blown me away. I will never forget the first time, at age 8, that I was faced with the unbelievable scale of Mount Rainier hanging over the landscape, as though a second behemoth moon were rising from behind the horizon. That awe truly has never faded for me. There are so many options for mountain exploration in the Pacific Northwest. When my family moved here, I landed in a bit of paradise.

I have struggled with my health and weight all of my life. But my love for the mountains and my burning desire to explore eventually pushed me out there as a young adult. When I worked at a daycare and A worked in fast food, we saved our pennies, bought a run-down Ford Econoline van from a dude in a Safeway parking lot and started driving off into the wilderness. At first we just drove to pretty places, but we did begin to hike, occasionally, in a few settings that called to me such as Sunrise trails on Mt. Rainier. My general health issues, arthritis and obesity did not allow us to get far very fast, but we continued to push and push. It might take hours and enormous effort to make it to the top of the trail, and we might be the last people off the mountain, but we went anyway, and saw the most amazing things, even if what I could do was limited. We walked back in the dark, exhausted, in pain but triumphant, seeing things that other day hikers usually didn't get to because they were always off the mountain before twilight. You can see pictures of me doing this at my heaviest, right here on this page.

I am much more capable and enthusiastic in my exploration, these days. This year has been the most amazing, so far. Though I am currently heavier than my lightest, I'm guessing by 12 or more pounds - I'll talk about that more below - the hiking has been mostly easier than ever before. We have been doing a conditioning hike of some sort every day for the past month, with the goal of getting in good enough shape to be able to qualify for next winter's Alpine Scramble course at The Mountaineers so that we can make Camp Muir safely next summer. 

According to the brochure: "A rough measure of adequate conditioning is the ability to hike Mount Si, from the trailhead to the base of the Haystack with a full pack (20-30 lbs.) in 2—1/2 hours or less." I have never even attempted Mt. Si, to date. Mt. Si is a 3150 foot elevation gain, 8 mile round trip, and relentlessly steep. A tough goal, but I believe this to be doable, in this time frame, for the first time in my life. Camp Muir is at roughly 10,000 feet, halfway up Mt. Rainier from the Paradise visitor's center, and you must cross a treacherous snowfield to get there (which is why the Alpine Scramble course training is essential). You can see where it should be from the top of the Skyline trail. I have always dreamt, figuratively and literally of being way up there on the shoulder of Rainier, but the only way to get there is to hike, 4,000 feet of elevation gain in 4 miles. So we are conditioning, little by little.

This last weekend we hiked to Rattlesnake Ledge, another nearby beautiful Cascades hike, less steep but a decent challenge at 1200 feet elevation gain in just under 2 miles. The reward at the end is to step out onto a bare rock "ledge" that is more like a needle, 1500 feet up with views over the lake that you start out at far below, green pine valleys and the snow-dusted peaks beyond. We took that hike last July for the first time. It was a muggy hot day, so that may have  slowed us down. But it took us a few hours, with lots of stopping, and we were WRECKED. This year, admittedly on a slightly chilly but sunny day, it took us an hour! We played tag with a group of twenty-something kids while we took turns resting, (way less this time, though!)  and made it up in the same amount of time as they did! We passed other people who looked younger and thinner, struggling along the trail. This has NEVER happened for me before. Never. 

We ate our apple and almonds snack while admiring the vast landscape stretched out below the ledge. Afterwards, we attempted to go further up the trail and see how far we could make it up Rattlesnake Mountain, toward the East Peak, which is a much steeper climb. But just a few yards past the ledge the trail was covered in a deep mushy sludge of snow, impossible to walk in without crampons and freezing without proper gear. Here's me on that section looking goofy and cold:

I'm glad that we didn't continue much farther, actually, because while I wasn't feeling any pain at the time, I was disablingly sore for several days after in the hips. I still haven't discovered what the problem is there. I've decided to try taking digestive enzymes with and outside of meals, as some people have suggested may help if the hip problem is bursitis. I'll let you know how that goes.

All in all, that hike was glorious and really made me feel good about my progress and what I'd like to accomplish. I think a steady diet of weight training and walking has done me worlds of good. Especially doing the Occam's Protocol (from the 4 Hour Body), with super-heavy (but calibrated) lifting to failure. My legs are so much stronger, which apparently makes a giant difference in pushing myself up that mountain. It makes all kinds of sense, yet I never thought of that! I thought hiking was all about conditioning. Now I'm realizing that the benefits of lifting heavy things are much much more than getting giant biceps.

Yesterday we completed Occam's Protocol week 5, with the chest and leg press workout (B). We'd had to push workouts back in the past few weeks due to travel and post-hike soreness. It turns out that it had been 2 weeks since the last workout B. I only upped my inclined chest press 5 pounds instead of 10 as suggested, and I still UTTERLY failed to get minimum reps in, 3.5 instead of 7, but I held the failure and am hoping for better next week. However, I KILLED the leg press again. I got up to 150 pounds, for 15 reps to failure (5 past minimum). That's 50 pounds more than I began lifting 5 weeks ago, for a fifty percent increase in strength! Yaaaay! So, I'm making great strides towards functionality. I'm getting to do the things I've always dreamt of doing. These are thing that make life good.

I haven't been losing weight. I'm fairly sure I've been gaining. Yeah, some muscle, definitely. Also some fat, certainly. My clothes are not fitting right. I can't wear my fanciest duds that I just bought a few months back. I have to eat a lot of protein for the heavy bodybuilding routine, and just have NOT figured out how to make it happen without getting fatter. I'm trying not to freak out. I can't let myself gain too much. I won't go back to obesity. But I'm going to have to hit the brakes. 

This particular routine is over in a week. The plan is to switch to a fat-burning protocol with more functional free-weights, specifically the kettlebell. So I'm hoping that my metabolism picks up and I can keep stepping up the conditioning hikes, tighten the diet since I won't be bulking.

Why don't I know what I weigh? What I don't want to do is walk around in a state of neurotic freakout. A year ago, I would have. I would have weighed myself obsessively. I would have freaked out and let it get me down. Right now I have plenty of other stressors on my plate. But I also have a plan. I am active, and I am not going crazy with the eating. So I've decided to back off from the scale until I switch routines. Spending my mental energy to take care of and enjoy myself in the meantime.

Lastly, I am thinking that I just may be entering Peri-menopause. Yeahhhh. It's kind of hard to believe. You're soldiering along, finally getting a handle on life, and suddenly, boom, you're old. But I have a plethora of symptoms cropping up, everything from hot flashes, night sweats to the fact that my period is 5 days late now. Which NEVER happens. And uh no, not pregnant. There are other details, which I will spare. But also...the growing belly fat is another sign that LOTS of women complain of. There is a chance that this is the case with me, and that it has crept stealthily in during this whole weight-loss process. This is really bugging me, in case you can't tell. I'm trying to get zen about it. It happens to all of us. It's not the end of the world. I guess it just feels like an uphill battle at times. I had a nice figure, for JUST a second. Hopefully I will get it back again. 

If not, well, the world is big and beautiful. And there are still mountains to climb. The view from this ledge is pretty great. But I will go higher.

I Wanna Marry a Lighthouse Keeper...

Sorry for the extended break. Just been really busy, in a good way.

Saturday we wanted to go for a hike. But with heavy leg press workout-to-failure scheduled for Sunday, we opted against a big uphill deal that will strain our glutes and thighs. But where can we walk a long way someplace flat, out of town, someplace pretty? Oh yeah, Dungeness Spit!

If you are in the know, you may have already begun laughing at me. You see, Dungeness Spit is the longest coastal spit in the lower 48, "A narrow strip of sand, dune, and beached logs, Dungeness Spit protrudes over 5 miles straight into the strait." The trail winds through a happy little forest and down a small bluff to the spit. Then you just walk the sand and gravel beach, no real trail, to a beautiful old lighthouse at the very end where volunteer keepers will give you a tour! Hiking is the only way out there, unless you make arrangements with the department of wildlife to land a boat there. Total roundtrip? 10.7 miles. 10.2 of that hiking on sand and ocean gravel, on a fairly slanted beach. What were we trying to spare?!? Our legs? Hahahaha!


But we are HARDCORE mofos. We packed the backpack up with lots of good food and water and bandaids and flashlights and extra clothes...I am detailing this here because equally hilarious is the fact that we did this hike EXACTLY two years ago, with NOTHING. You can see my picture during that hike on my little progress filmstrip to the right. We did it on an impulse. We only intended to wander around the spit a little bit, but we just kept going a LITTLE FARTHER. You get to mile 3, you can see the lighthouse there in the distance. It's the weirdest optical illusion. It looks so close, yet it's still two miles away! We had no backpack, no food, no water, nada. But how can you not go all the way with that shimmering monument of maritime nostalgia beckoning to you? We are no good at saying no to such a challenge, whether it's a mountain or a lighthouse. Which surely makes us fools. But we are learning, maybe a little late in life.


To make matters worse, on that previous jaunt, we didn't plan on how long it would take to hike back in the freaking sand, and were under the impression that our car would be LOCKED IN if we didn't get back by 8. So we declined the tour offered by the sweet little Scandanavian keeper when we arrived, drank water voraciously from the fountain, used the restroom, and began the DEATH MARCH back, trying to fight the pain and exhaustion to make faster than 18 minutes a mile in the sand after having hiked 5+ miles in the sand on no fuel or water. My joints, especially knees were much worse then, and I was in profound pain, limping terribly by the time we got back, too late. Very sad bunpoh. But it all turned out okay. Turns out you're SUPPOSED to be off the spit by sundown, so they say what time you're SUPPOSED to be back, but if you drive up to the gate from the inside, it opens! Phew!


This time, we were much prepared, except for a kind amnesia regarding the overall brutality of sand hiking. I guess I kind of figured that since I am currently 50 pounds lighter, and with a damn site more hiking under my belt, I might do better. And I did. Mostly...


Regardless of difficulty, it was an EPIC hike. Endlessly beautiful. We saw a newt on the trail! It froze as we approached. "You can't see me if I'm not moving." It was the EXACT color of the dirt on either side of the pavement. A little farther, three deer were bedded down mere steps to one side in the forest. We stopped to take pictures and they sniffed the air intensely, then went back to ignoring visitors studiously. The view of the spit from the bluff is amazing, stretching into the ocean. And then you go down and onto the beach, the ocean crashing next to you for hours, so hypnotic that the silence is startling you once you return to the forest above. Gulls and cranes and ravens and ducks and hawks. Driftwood and every color and texture of pebble I have ever seen, all mixed up. We had to hustle, normally I beachcomb like a madman. I only managed to snag one tiny translucent amber colored agate with a blood red inclusion.


We stopped to eat on the way down and on the way back. Nothing tastes so good as on a beach after miles of walking.


The lighthouse keeper met us on the meticulous lawn, so friendly and welcoming and looking amusingly nautical in the face. He took us through the little museum rooms, detailing the history of the place expertly. Up to the lantern room, with the shiny brass lamp in the center, on but surprisingly not bright as it shone in our eyes. We gazed out the windows with binoculars, past the ends of the spit deep into the Straits of Juan de Fuca. I love places like this.


I must admit, the walk back became pretty grueling pretty quickly. In fact, by mile 3 on the way THERE, I began having a lot of pain in my hips, especially my left hip. I told A, and he endlessly reassured me that we could turn back any time, I just had to say the word. But no, I couldn't bring myself to stop. It was pain, but just that. I wanted to keep going. so I did. Seven more miles after that. I don't know if that is wise, or not. In the end, it worked out. I was again, limping by the car, but this time was much much better. I was exhausted but exhilarated. And the hip pain? Barely a trace by the next day, gone the following. I got exactly one blister, on the back of my heel where my boot was sliding. I feel like I got off so light!


From the bluff, looking back towards the spit, now dark, we could just see the glimmer of the lighthouse. I cannot BELIEVE how far away that seems now.


About the hip pain. I am wondering what it really is. I was thinking bursitis, now I'm not so sure. This time it was the inside of my hip, near my groin, mostly on my left side but a little on the other, and also in my right flank. I am wondering if it is my walking mechanics, after having poked around on the net a little. It could be my pelvic tilt and/or what one site explained as "using the hip flexors to walk" rather than using my glutes to move my legs! Crazy! I am curious...how does one get this checked out? Do I need to go to a sports doctor/specialist? A massage therapist? A rheumatologist? How expensive is all this? This hip pain thing seems to kick in about three miles into most walks that I do, and it's getting tiresome now. I don't actually believe it's arthritis, though I don't know how to explain that. My hips never hurt me except after walking X amount, but not from lifting, squatting or anything else. I have the strength, endurance and will to hike huge amounts. I don't want this to limit me! I am going to do my damndest to find a way to fix this thing, if humanly possible.


Ah, it's gotten late. Must to bed. But regardless of the pain, I really love our epic hikes. This one was so romantic. And it turns out any able bodied person can sign up to be a lighthouse keeper for a week! Sweet! We may have to do that someday...

Planked!

Got busy, but weekend went differently than I had previously imagined.

Occam's Protocol, Workout B number two...Crushed! Another 10% strength gain for both lifts for both of us. Woohoo! I did 1.5 reps and 2.5 reps past failure on my two lifts, again, just about perfect. I am lifting the right amount. We added planks to our ab routine this time! They are tough and I LOVE them. Fun! Weird! I felt like a superhero or something. My whole body shook with effort, but I could do it - 30 seconds each time, front and both sides. Happy times! Brand new muscles accessed, for sure. The leg press, man I tell you. I can see new definition in my calves, I swear it!

Our friend talked us into going to a comedy show , The Humor Program at The Naked City brewpub in Greenwood, rather than sushi post workout as we had planned. The comedy shorts that were part of this show were really excellent, and the show was fun. We had a great time with our buddies. As for food...this was carby cheat day, so...we did! Legitimately. But it was JUST post massive leg-press weight-lifting-to-failure workout. And everyone at the table ordered fries. And I was so hungry. So very hungry. Ate toooooo many fries. Had a great brisket sandwich, baby greens salad, aaaaaand three beers.

Ok, I was supposed to eat carbs and many more calories than usual. So it's not like I was off plan. But we felt really really yucky the next day. Not used to eating like that. At all. And I am still bloated and feel...fat.

However, we eventually pulled our shiznit together and went for a hike on Sunday. A baby-hike, but a hike nonetheless. Wallace Falls State Park, with a series of amazing waterfalls cascading down beautiful craggy and rounded snow-capped mountains. It was, however one of the coldest days here in a while, and it was snowing on us. Oh well! We decided, because of our late start and sore thighs to go up as far as was prudent. We made it up to the middle falls, 4.2 miles round trip, about 800 lil baby feet in elevation. And my hips and knees still hurt on the way back down. Mind you, last summer we were doing almost three times that elevation gain. I am looking forward to hiking without having just crushed my lower half on the press the night before. That's the plan, moving forward. It was so peaceful, though, and beautiful. The trees were covered with a spring green moss that glowed in the sunlight. The river wove back and forth under bridges that the trail crossed over. The snow dusted mountains above framed every view.

In any case, proud of us for getting out there and starting our conditioning hikes, for sticking to the lifting plan, and for being flexible enough to change our plans to include friends and some decent entertainment/art.

I am still struggling with how much/what to eat. In the meantime, eating a lot to get all 150 grams of protein in a day for muscle growth. I think it's working, but yeah...I'm seeing fat gain too. Tomorrow I get to go grocery shopping. I am going to pick up....drum roll please...BEANS! They have been historically problematic for me. But I want to give it another shot, to more closely adhere to the Slow Carb diet. I haven't made it all the way there yet. I should probably cut all fruit, nuts, cheese except cheat day. Eat veggies instead, and lower fat meats. Or not care about the fat gain. Guess I'll keep see-sawing in my attitude until I make up my mind. :)

But overall, I'm happy to be where I am right now. Happy with where I'm heading. I know I'll figure it out. I can't have gotten all the way here without continuing on.

Saturday Cheat Day

Food porn warning! Read at your own peril!

So I'm supposed to cycle carbs in and up my calories one day a week, in order to trick my body into going "Hey! Look at that! We're eating a bunch of rich-ass food! I guess we don't have to hang on to every ounce of fat we're given after all." Why did I write that in plural? Perhaps I was imagining the teeming hordes of my fat cells speaking? Also, psychologically speaking, this seems a sound strategy. Keeps you from exploding into binge-y crazyland. So I sally forth, ready for piggy goodness to ensue. Though practically speaking, going for mostly low-carb-but-carbier-than-allowed-on-other-days options.

Supposed to kick off with protein, so I went straight to the Jarrow Brown Rice Protein Powder and organic whole milk. Trying to use up the last of that milk and switch to something a little less carb-y for future protein powder consumption. Then I made coffee and started cooking my newly discovered Fluffy Coconut Flour Pancakes. Ohhhhhh myyyyyyy! (Yes, you SHOULD imagine George Takei saying this.) They are OBSCENELY delicious. Dare I say, better than wheat flour pancakes? I dare! That is a picture above stolen from the recipe site's page, Nourishing Days. Thank you thank you thank you for this recipe! I got there via a post on Mark's Daily Apple, which is also an awesome site on Primal eating and fitness, which I would say most closely aligns with what want to eat and do for the rest of my life when I am done experimenting with 4 Hour Body stuff. In case you never heard of it.

In my version, I used up more of the whole milk, as I am fresh out of coconut milk, and a tablespoon of honey as the sweetener. Also, I subbed aluminum-free baking powder in for the baking soda by accident, but they were so fluffy and delicious, that is now part of MY recipe. I cut up strawberries and washed some blueberries and heated some honey in a jar in a pan of water to make it extra pourable, and stuck all that plus some grass fed butter on the hot cakes before eating. Also, we had some porkalicious uncured organic sausage. Excellent breakfast achieved.

This all will go pretty well with the heavy lifting scheduled for today, so that we don't bonk. Tonight, we do Workout B numero dos! I am guessing and hoping and begging the universe that without the added stresses of calibration, the leg press won't leave me with a bad case of the Peg Leg for the next few days, like last time. Though again, that got better shockingly fast, compared to the sheer amount of pain I was in (trust me, I'm no pain wimp, either. Kind of the opposite, actually. But I don't want to hurt myself, so I listen to my body!)

SOOOO excited to see what I can lift this week. I really really really hope my legs and chest press are gonna show massive strength gain like Workout A did this week. I haven't been this psyched to go to the gym, um, EVER. Love Occam's Protocol. I know I will need to switch to more functional fitness later, including way more conditioning, but in the meantime, this is really fun.

After the workout? Sushi!!!!! I love sushi, and I never get to have it because of the rice. (Sashimi, while awesome, is just NOT the same.) I love salmon nigiri, ono nigiri, amoebi (raw nigiri with the heads tempura fried separately!), ohitashi, spider rolls. Oh happy day. I am doing the snoopy dance thinking about this. Also, possibly beer. Which I am also crazy for and never get to have. So these are the actual very carby treats that I'm going for today.

Lastly, A and I and a dear friend/roommate have been talking over the issues with gaining muscle and fat gain. While we will try to be careful, maybe add in some more leaner meat meals, and stay off the fruits most days, we've decided we will not kill ourselves to try and lean out during this time period. We're going to try to minimize fat gain, but not freak the F out. I can see I've gained a LITTLE around the waist, too. But I'm not going to risk not putting on enough muscle due to protein deprivation, nor am I going to restrict myself to nothing but bland lean meats and steamed broccoli. I think that mostly staying off fruit, completely staying off sugar and grains and starch 6 days a week is deprivation enough. I am not a fitness model. I am a (semi-) normal human being with a normal weight, trying to gain some muscle for my sports of choice, hiking, scrambling, open water swimming, and continued weightlifting fun times. And to try and up my metabolism, after dieting it into the freaking ground.

After this 6 week period, I will start intense conditioning, lots of hiking and kettlebell swinging and try to cut fat down through diet for a little while. It will be spring. I'm guessing it will come pretty naturally, without having to stuff that much protein down my craw every day.

I know I'm see-sawing a bit here. Hard to overcome that panicky feeling of seeing minor gains after losing so very much weight. Just have to remember, I am WORLDS away from what I used to be, 2 1/2 years ago. For instance, I haul my ass into the gym on a regular basis. I take 4 - 6 mile walks without even thinking twice about it. We don't even have junk food in the house, a fact that lead our roommate to comment on how he's been naturally losing weight because that crap is never around. We cook all of our meals completely from scratch, and naturally reach for meat and veggie options only at restaurants. My ass occasionally fits into single digit clothing (though that is clearly size inflation.) Time to stop freaking out and live.