Feeling so much better today. The drama-free zone has worked wonders. Ignored another possible family drama-filled missive (until tomorrow - I think I can handle it then just fine.) Just a chill weekend spent with friends and taking care of home and work.
Yesterday, I worked a little, then went to my friend's art show yesterday, ate cheese, drank wine, never touched cracker one! A triumph. Also went to nibbly dinner with a few friends after, again, they had NO carb-free options, but we made it work, just ate cheese and veggies and some roast beef and more wine. We are the champions!
Am still getting high off the compliments, as I am currently the skinniest that most of my friends have seen me. People calling me sexy and hot makes me squeal. Are you freaking kidding me? I hardly can even hear that. Someday that will end. Perhaps when I stop being a stranger and everyone gets used to (tired of) my ass being around all the time again. :)
That's the plan, too. I will never shut myself off from humanity, never severely limit my life in the name of weight loss again. I don't think I will have to. I am forever grateful to what I've obtained through the extreme self-control, sacrifice, and medical gift that I was given, but I can see a better way for me now that I've achieved this level of health and incredible lightness (for me.)
I had to work ALL DAY today to make up for being sick, but that's okay. I am giddy with excitement of the return of normalcy. Leaving behind the sadness/depression of the last week's family madness, and the resulting illness. Setting my new fitness/diet plans in motion. Especially lifting heavy things to build up arms and other body parts worthy of fighting off Terminators. (As you do.) Having a concrete plan for seeing friends EVERY week, at least TWICE a week. Low carbing during the week, one day a week carby refeed to upregulate the ol' metabolism. Tricksy science! I love it! Just getting as happy and healthy and kick-ass as possible.
My eating has been very very light today. I am glad about that, because I felt I was eating a lot before, although I've been steadily losing the weight I bounced up to after the Midwest fiasco-I-mean trip all week. (Some of it was probably water, but obviously not all, since the high water mark of my girth has been receding rather slowly.) Glad of it, anyways, I feel in control and just really, dare I say it...normal! Hurray!
I really like the comment you left at SFG regarding her perceptions of the facebook use of "like" because I believe there must be a lot of misunderstandings and jumping-to-false-conclusions going on in social media (which I don't follow.) It's the nature of the beast. Your current post sounds so much more hopeful and free (LOL) compared to January's posts. What a horrible situation to *witness* and not be able to control. I hope your Grandma and the child are both okay! That kind of experience would push every single one of my buttons. Yowza! Good luck in finding your inner warrior! I have similar fantasies after watching the 3 original movie versions of "The Girl with/who.." (Dragon Tatoo, etc). Haven't seen the English/American movie(recently released), but if the actress is half as good as the original actress there should be some kick-ass solid action to emulate. Too much violence against HER, for my taste, but I do love it when she gets rough and/or rides her motorcycle. :) Brings out my inner lesbian. I don't care who reads that. :) BTW, I'm curious: what do you mean by "medical gift"? That sounds intriguing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your supportive words. I am feeling much more positive, but I did have to go through the sadness and depression that my experiences caused at the time first.
DeleteBy medical gift, I mean that my health had been deteriorating rapidly before I started the HCG protocol, with the actual hormone from a pharmacy, which my naturopath/integrative doctor put me on. I had started to develop MS symptoms, such as tremoring, muscle twitching and severe loss of coordination, including a series of falls. She put me on the protocol because she had had some success with someone else who had JUST developed such symptoms. It totally worked. The symptoms stopped, my coordination came back and I have been in 100% remission for 2 1/2 years now. I don't know if it would work for anyone else, especially anyone who had been having symptoms for more than a few months, unlike me. And I don't know if it will stay that way, once I've been off the protocol for a while. But I feel damned, damned lucky. And I dropped 140 pounds, as a little side benefit. :)
OMG, as they say. I'm an RN and have never heard of HCG protocol for early MS. My gap in awareness doesn't surprise me. I'm far more interested in so-called "alternative" therapies/treatments because the Western paradigm of medicine is limited and distorted by so many socially constructed illusions of control, including the "solutions" offered by *big pharma* (dislike that phrase, but it's an easy shorthand). I like the idea of working WITH our bodies, cooperating with natural flows of equilibrium/disequilibrium, rather than battling against our selves as if we are fighting a war. It's great to find creative ways of seeing physiology from new perspectives. Thanks for sharing your experience! Sending wishes to you for continued good health and enhanced well being! :) hugs, hopefulandfree
ReplyDeleteThanks. :) I don't think ANYONE else that I've ever heard of uses HCG this way. Her logic was that many women go into remission when pregnant (though not all.) She likens HCG to a reset button for the endocrine system and for other issues. I always did feel some euphoria and general well-being while on it. BUT...I don't want to paint it as a panacea, or even a miracle cure for early MS. I was never tested for MS. I do not know if it would help anyone else. I would love for a researcher to quietly do the testing, but I don't want to get accusations thrown at me for promoting this as a cure without that. Again, I personally feel incredibly lucky. And yeah, alternative medicine has always been the thing that helps me, and I've been medically harmed a few times by Western Medicine. So I know which direction I'm sticking with.
DeleteI just skimmed through a bunch of your posts. I officially love your blog and the pics you have posted on the sidebar. What changes and progress. You seem to be someone who loves life, so go after your goals and never give up! Excited to be a new follower! :)
ReplyDelete